Do they own cemetery property? Locally? In another location?

There should be a deed or certificate of property rights from the cemetery. There might also be a transfer paper from the cemetery if property rights were inherited or passed down. If family members are buried in a cemetery together, it might be worthwhile to contact the cemetery to see if there is available property. In the event that property is available to use (paid for by family in the past) you will need to have the actually purchasers or deeded property owners sign the authorization for use of the property.

Did they preplan for the burial container, memorial or cemetery opening and closing fees?

There should be a signed contract including the various merchandise and or services. The money to provide these products and services are typically trusted. The cemetery will honor the contract.

Did they make funeral arrangements through a trust?

Some Funeral Providers sell services in advance through a trust vehicle. There should be paperwork referring to this. If the money for services or merchandise was trusted, it can usually be used by any Funeral Provider and not just the one that originally sold the trust.

Did they provide money for final expenses through an insurance policy?

Some insurance providers sell insurance policies that provide money at the time of death toward funeral expenses. There should be paperwork to verify this.

Did you ever discuss end of life decisions with them?

Often, we’ve had conversations about funeral or cemetery services in which opinions have been expressed. Did your loved one ever comment on the funeral or cemetery services they attended?

Does your loved one normally just follow family tradition when it comes to important life events?

Some people just assume that they will handle life events the way their family has done it the past. If this is the case, you can get input from family members and move ahead comfortably.

What kind of automobile did they drive?

Unbelievably, much of the time there is a direct correlation between the kind of automobile a person drives and the type casket they choose when preplanning. This may offer suggestions for the type funeral you choose.

If your loved one left you with no ideas or directives for planning their funeral ceremonies, you should just use your best judgment.

The important thing is to take good care of yourself while providing a healing, dignified celebration of your loved one’s life. This final tribute will help you to heal and will provide an important time for friends and family to say goodbye.

A note to consider – many times people make blanket statements like:

• “Just throw me out the back door”,
• “Just cremate me”,
• “Don’t come see me when I’m dead if you can’t see me when I’m alive”,
• “Don’t send me flowers when I’m dead – send them when I’m alive”,
• “Just put me in a pine box”

Normally statements like this come from those who are uncomfortable or fearful of death. What they are really communicating is that they don’t want to think about the topic.

With information and education, they would have realized the important healing benefits that are available to those who experience and participate in funeral ceremonies. Be sure to remember that funerals are for the benefit of the living in honor and appreciation of the life of the deceased.