Children need help to cope with their grief when a parent dies.

The surviving parent is usually the main person who must provide the help a child needs in coming to terms with the death of the other parent.

• Often the surviving parent is so involved and even incapacitated by their own grief that support from friends and relatives proves essential.
• It is important that all those close to a bereaved child should be able to discuss how it was and how it is.
• Children need to have the facts and the feelings surrounding their loss confirmed often; for this reason it is also important to listen to what they have to say.
• They will probably need to hear and discuss things over and over again.
• Check out what they think, correct, and confirm the facts, help them accept their feelings.
• Above all accept their time scale – a child’s grief can be spread over many years.
• It may also resurface in adulthood, especially at a time of crisis and/or celebration.
• There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to grief and expressing loss, but being honest with children is essential in order to avoid them becoming confused by half-truths and fears.
• Children in different age groups grieve in different ways so the help given may need to change to suit the age and personality of the child.