Losing an immediate family member brings on a flurry of difficult emotions.

You may be in shock after a sudden death. You could be feeling anger, guilt, or fear. Perhaps, interwoven with your sorrow, is a sense of peace after suffering through a long illness. We each grieve in our own individual way. How we handle the loss of a loved one depends on our personal backgrounds, our connection to the person who died and how the person died.

The following information can serve as a starting point for helping you cope with the loss of an immediate family member:

Surviving a Spouse or Partner

When you got married, you made a commitment to become one with your spouse. No one talked about the day your loved one would no longer be around. Losing your partner is like losing a part of yourself.

If a loved one other than your spouse died before your spouse, you might be surprised or frightened by the intensity of your grief. Emotional responses like sorrow, anger, and loneliness can feel overwhelming without your partner there to comfort you. You may find that you think about your spouse constantly, recreate the circumstances of their death repeatedly in your mind, or have dreams or nightmares.

As the reality of your partner’s death sinks in, you may find yourself trying to reinvent yourself. Perhaps you have young children at home and now must handle raising them on your own. The death of your spouse might have left you financially burdened. Even socializing may be difficult as friends that enjoyed you, as a couple might not know how to interact with you as an individual.

Above all, you may feel very empty and lost. Your closest companion is gone, and you are alone with no energy for moving ahead.

You will adjust to your new life and your grief will diminish. This does not mean you will forget your spouse. Even as you accept the death and begin your new life, you will keep in your heart the love and memories you shared during your time together.