After losing a loved one, you may wonder if you’ll ever enjoy life again.

The experience of grieving cannot be ignored, hurried, controlled or set aside forever.

The word grieve comes from the French word “grève” which means a heavy burden. This condition is one we all must experience at some time or another in our lives. Grieving feels overwhelming and confusing. Our minds, bodies and spirits are challenged and often all at once.

There is no remedy for grief. No pill, no antidote, nothing that can take us away from the crushing blow that comes with the death of a loved one.

The journey is one that we cannot avoid. In order to move on in a healthy way we must agree to the process; we must embrace our pain and step forward in spite of it.

Ceremony, meaning, connection are all considerations that may help to ease the pain if only temporary.

We will and we do get through the pain but sometimes not without help. This is when we most need others.

We need to share and talk if incessantly at times, saying the same things over, and over. We need to be quiet and alone at times; just to learn to deal with our pain in our own way.

Feelings of helplessness, fear, and isolation threaten. During those times, we just hold on.

Others want our grief to go away. They are more uncomfortable with our pain than we are at times. We are encouraged to get up, move on, and take control. Although they mean well, they just don’t understand; it’s okay.

If we stay on course, we begin to breathe again; just a few short breathes at first and they may come with a feeling of guilt for the relief but this gives us hope.

Some of us benefit from outside help. This is highly recommended. When we step out in our pain, we are able to help others who identify with our loss.

During our season of grief, we learn new skills and adapt differently to old routines. We begin to adjust to daily life without the physical presence of the person who died.

Grief can be complicated especially when:

• The death was sudden or expected
• We weren’t at peace with the person who died
• We never learned coping styles from our family and life experiences
• We don’t have a strong belief system
• Those around us react badly
• We are without a support system
• We have never thought about death and our feelings

If we accept our loss and allow ourselves to walk through the journey of grief at our own pace, we will heal. We will begin again to live; not as we once lived but anew. We will move on with more empathy, more understanding and with more appreciation for life. We will never be the same.